Honor: 0 [ Give / Take ]
14 entries this month
Relapse *unfinished*
18:54 May 30 2011
Times Read: 465
Roses are red
Violets are blue
What if I relapsed because of you?
You hurt me, destroy me and make me feel shamed
Although I vowed to never go back again
Random Feelings
18:51 May 30 2011
Times Read: 466
Some things are better left unsaid
Call me what you like
A total psycho or a junkhead
Either way, I'll end up dead
Cant get these depressing thoughts out my head
Need someone to talk too
But everyone turns away instead
Destined to live in this dump I call home
Life will get better
You fucking liars
Cut cut, correct the emotion
Shoot shoot, feel no emotion
Drink drink, forget the days
Fuck am I going insane?
Plastic Angel
23:31 May 29 2011
Times Read: 471
Resting upon a stoned engraved tile
Stood a Plastic Angel with a snow white smile
A halo with only the brightest gold
Wings with only the greatest artistic design
Plastic Angel, my Angel
It has indeed been awhile
You came to me once upon a time
In an old magic store
You saw my hidden pain and told me there will be no more
I brought you and trusted you with all my life
Set you on my panel and sang to you every night
Watched you glow amazing colors
I felt the warm within my heart
As time passed, you decayed before my eyes
Plastic Angel, my Angel
Why have you not come back to life?
Resting upon a stoned engraved tile
Stood a Plastic Angel with a sad smile
A halo turned only to the dullest gold
Plastic Angel, my Angel
Tell me, where does time go..?
Inspired by Joshua-Satan@vampirefreaks.com
Written by the one and only Grimmy
I Heard The Other Day
11:53 May 27 2011
Times Read: 479
I heard the other day
You’d touch me to get rid of all my pain
You’d kiss me to make me forget
About the needles and razors over there
I heard the other day
You were the Angel to save the day
You would be the one to save my life
The person who would keep me from taking my life
I heard the other day
You were in love with me even though my clouds are gray
You’d stay with me no matter how crazy I get
You would keep me in your heart without any shame
I heard the other day this is only my imagination
And no such person will ever exist
Look At The Mess You Made
18:39 May 26 2011
Times Read: 483
Heat the spoon
Filled with the powder stuff
Careful careful
Don’t burn yourself
Don’t drop one bit
Or else it’s less for you
Meth Meth
I think I need you
Where is the strap that goes around your arm
Wrap it up tight
Stop your doing it wrong
Put the liquid inside the needle
Sit back and relax and welcome these high effects
What do you see in your pleasant state of mind?
The happy good life
Or the reoccurring thoughts of dying..
The Beautiful Person
22:16 May 24 2011
Times Read: 486
I see your smiling face
And I see your eyes watching me
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist
To know you’re analyzing me
You tell me it’s alright and your only here to help
But that is what the last one said
Before they locked me up
You ask me personal questions
Such as why do I hate myself?
But it’s none of your business you dumb bitch
I only damn you to hell
You look is of curiosity and wonder
But I know you’re staring at me like I’m some case
A simple patchwork of a blanket
That could be simply unraveled with haste
I don’t hate myself
But I do obsess over death
You prescribe me pills to make me better
But I only end up a fucking emotional wreck
Your only one of the beautiful people
Judging people like me
You would never truly understand
What it’s like to truly lose your insanity
You would never know what its like to feel despair and pain
To you I'm just a fucking case study
Another psycho to get up your name
Cell Block; Insanity
21:46 May 22 2011
Times Read: 502
Cell block C
Number 467895 is the only life for me
Manically I’m going fucking crazy
Give me drugs it’s the only thing that helps nowadays
Sitting in this empty 10x3 room
I hear my demons coming back to haunt me again
I gave everything to insanity
Because this is what life only has to offer me
I smash my body and head against these walls
An ordeally comes to drug me
But still, I do not awaken from this suicidal state
I’ve come to a road where there is only 2 ways
Hell and eternal pain or a chance at death to see the brighter ways
A pile of pills saved up from visits by the men in white
Smash them all up and shallow them down
Shaking into a violent trance, I think I have finally set myself free
I saw him in all black with a devious small across his face
He reached out to me in open arms
But I came back to reality
Sitting in an empty room in a jacket in which I cannot be released
Cell block D
Number 467895 is the only life for me
Mentally I’ve drove myself fucking crazy
Give me drugs it’s the only thing that helps nowadays
Sitting in this empty 10x4 room
My demons chant inside my head
Why can’t anyone see I’m better off fucking dead
Only a kindred soul could know
20:30 May 22 2011
Times Read: 504
Do you know how hard I try but I always fail
Can you see inside my drug induced mind
I’ve killed all my fucking emotion
I choose to be a lifeless dead girl
No I won’t ever fucking change
I’d rather die by my own self-destruction
Than your man-made oppressions
Put your hand over my heart and see into my eyes
Feel the damaging beat, see the fire inside
My only desire in life is to finally meet my maker Death
But this fucker keeps denying me of all my wishes
I hate humanity and every mindless fuck in it
I want to destroy all your dreams
And finally kill what’s left
Look inside my mind
I’m still so fucking angry
But you could never fully get it
The rage. Anger. And hate.
Even if I tried to explain it
Only stupidity is what I’ll get
While your breeding the next generation
I’ll be holding the same gun to my head hoping to hear a final click
My Apocalypse
02:02 May 20 2011
Times Read: 517
A wasted piece of breath
Fuck I don’t give a shit if I stopped breathing
Only talking but no one seems to hear
If I talked or scream any louder the nation still will be dead after all these years
My only salvation is pain, blood and hate
Razor, drugs and to beat the shit outta every human being
I was once so damn disturbed
Now I’m fucked up even more
Every time I look in the mirror
I’m in fucking shame and disgrace
I punch the mirror getting my disease everywhere
But the broken pieces still laugh at me
This rage continues to build up inside of me
I’ll become lifeless like the walking dead
I’ll continue to intoxicate my body
I’m a living piece of shit
I grab my head these voices are making me go insane
Suicide. Murder. Drugs. Hell.
Fuck this life, I’m down and I bail
It never fucking works
Death will continue to deny me and make my demons torture me all the more worse
Fuck you death
Fuck every denial you have given me
Fuck all the hate that keeps building inside me
Fuck all that I loved and what I’ve come to know
This is my apocalypse
I’m ready to go home
Welcome Home
16:46 May 18 2011
Times Read: 523
Standing on this rocky edge
The only thing I have to call home is my old friend
Trapped here inside my own void of mind
And when I try to scream it locks me back into prison
When I dream at night it’s a series of final deaths
To my heart, soul and nothing less
Slowly adding to the wall I have begin to build back around me
I watch them pick at it and break the emotions inside of me
The horrid voices constantly make me do frightening things
How do you scream for “help” when no one is around you?
How do you make it stop when the pain is already inside you?
But there is always peace in the silence and death has some
Misery you’ve found me, and welcomed me home
But it isn’t completely till the final breath is done
A fight to keep standing
But the walls continue to break down
A last goodbye, I know I’ll try it again
The Murder Of Jesus Christ
12:11 May 18 2011
Times Read: 527
It’s been awhile since we have last talked
But now that I have found you again
I shall make you pay to me what you owe
You owe me your life, soul and body
I want your blood and your organs gone
You deserve it for being a false savior
I want your hair pulled piece by piece from your dirty scalp
Your eyeballs will be gorged
Your arms detached from your body
You don’t need them to where you’re going
I want your stomach disemboweled and put out for all too see
To show their god is as human as they are
Your unborn child lying in Mary’s womb
Will be aborted
Because we cannot have another one of you
Mary will be sentenced of rape for the rest of her life
And bare babies who will be raised to kill her
Dear Jesus, will you come back again
Or will you finally learn to stay down in the grave
Know if you do decided to magically raise
We will you again mutilate you
Insanity
01:29 May 11 2011
Times Read: 532
There are these little voices inside my head
They want me alive. They want me dead
I try to ignore them
But they only get louder and worse
They make me see visions
Of me in a hearse
Some days I could ignore them
And my world is alright
But it won’t be long
Before them come find me and bite
I close my eyes and just scream
But when I reopen them
I’m in a hospital gown
And nothing but white walls to be seen
Could it be I’m losing all my sanity?
There is an image in the mirror ahead
Her smile is dangerous she wants people dead
She makes me cut and feel ashamed
I never really understood her childish game
At times I can control her and life is alright
But it won’t be long before I get her looks in my eyes
I lock myself away and simply scream
But when I wake up I’m in the home for the insane
I think I’m losing my sanity
There are these little voices and a deadly girl inside my head
That murdered a child and bring out a beast instead
Slumber
14:03 May 04 2011
Times Read: 559
Going to sleep in such a deep slumber
Closing my eyes the world becomes a solid black
My heart rate suddenly slows down
And I know Father Death has found me
I could almost see the blood spray across my eyes
I refuse to open them
Because of fear of the horror I may see
I silently invoke the dark forces in hope’s someone will hear me
“Dear Satan, take me home soon…”
But it is obvious my voice was too silent
I could feel my tongue being ripped out of my mouth
Oh the horror! The pain!
I could not move my arms
My body stood still unable to fight back
Not like I could
It would be useless
Death has finally found me and even in pain
I will endlessly embrace it
At least I take my last breath and I’m gone
Images of my life replayed as my soul lifted away
I saw my body tore, and bruised
I saw the tears that stained my cheeks
But I continued to let my spirit move on
As I felt myself becoming at peace but soul merged full force back into my aching body’
I awoken screaming in the pain I felt before only to realize it was simply a dream
Death has once again denied me
Although I will never deny it
Life
13:49 May 04 2011
Times Read: 561
“The only certainty in life is that we are all alone”
Whats a graveyard but dirt and decaying skin
Whats a body but skin and tissue
Whats a tear but water and meaningless emotions
We bury the dead in places in hopes to forget them someday
And in hopes we will be able to say goodbye for that final time
It’s only a lie
The dead is more than simply dirt and decaying skin
More than just a body simply rotting
So we shed tears of meaningless emotions
That one day, we will move on
Only in the end…Only in the end…
We realize that we are all alone
Somehow even after this ordeal we refuse to believe this
We find love and become amazed at such feelings
You become alive or what you think
You become entranced with such hell that you lose yourself
Until it’s gone
What do you feel now?
Whats love without pain
Whats pain without love
Only in the end….only in the end…
We realize that we are all alone
At the end of the day
We lay our heads down to rest and close your eyes
Hoping tomorrow will be a better day
Perhaps you won’t have to bury a friend
Perhaps you’ll find someone new
Perhaps your dreams will finally come true
But this is all a lie
Only in the end…only in the end
I realized that the only certainty in life is that I will always be alone
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